Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
