The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Let's get the cat blown out
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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