Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
