dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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