Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
