call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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