just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This is my gift to your gina
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
