Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
