just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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