Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
