have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
