i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
