How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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