just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
