my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
