Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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