That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
