There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
