he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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