Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
