im drinking this country out of the recession.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
