What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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