peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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