It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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