does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
