Sponge bath it is.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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