I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
