Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
