take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was not drunk enough for that final.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
