i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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