remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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