Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
