Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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