I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
