this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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