Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
