I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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