why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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