I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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