I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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