I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize