look no pants
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
