I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
