Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
