I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
