I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
