i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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