I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
