All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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