Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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