He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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