i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
