i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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