it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
