The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No subtext here. People are naked.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
