just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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