he puts the penis in happiness.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just want nice things and good sex
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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