So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
