I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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