Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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