All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
