we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
