Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
