every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
