She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
