Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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